The End of All Normalcies
by Shade Sorcerer
Summary: After seven years of trying, a young man finally succeeds in performing magic. He plans to go to the news companies with this demonstration, but a certain youkai has other ideas. Touhou Project belongs to Team Shanghai Alice.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Magic is Real

A young man sits in a nearly empty room. The man is thin, dangerously so. He wears sweatshorts and a t-shirt, both grey, and a purple trilby. He is pale, has long, brown hair, and has a scar below his right knee. He has been sitting here for three hours, holding a wooden katana, or, as he calls it, a bokkun. The man has done this every day for the past seven years. _Crack!_ A bolt of lightning strikes nearby, causing the man to smile. At that moment, the bokkun leaves the man's hands, and begins floating, ever so slightly. The man shouts with joy, causing himself to lose concentration, and the bokkun falls. "It doesn't matter." the man says. "With this, I _know_ magic is real. Now, I can show all those idiots who told me I was wasting my time. I'll become famous!"

"Yes, yes, dreams of revenge and all that. Unfortunately for you, that's not going to happen." comes a woman's voice from behind the man.  
The man deftly gets up and points the bokkun in the direction of the voice. The room, with the lights off, is too dark for him to make out anything about the woman besides her location. "Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" he asks.  
"Oh? Since when did you start paying the bills for your parents?" the woman says mockingly.  
"Fine, what are you doing in my _parents'_ house, then?" the man says.

"Watching you." the woman replies. She says "Oh, and making sure you don't cause any problems for my home. We don't want anyone finding out about us." _Crack!_ This flash of lightning allows the man to see the woman's features. She is blond, pale, and wearing a white dress. However, the thing his eyes are drawn to the most is her smile. It is cruel, twisted, and aimed at him. That one instant of light is all it takes to make the man tremble in fear.

"If you really are intent upon showing your _magic_ to the world," she says, drawing out the word magic, as if making fun of it, "then you'll just need to come with me, won't you?" A _thing_ opens by the woman, and she pulls something- no, some_one_\- out of it. It is a dangerously thin man, who is pale, and wears a grey t-shirt with grey sweatshorts. This man has long brown hair, on top of which is a purple trilby.

"H-hey! W-wh-what a-are yo-" _SNAP!_ This man falls silent as the woman breaks his neck. Another thing opens, and the woman pulls a rope out of it. The first man falls backwards, stammering. He manages to say, as the woman ties the rope to the other man's neck, "Y-y-y-you j-just k-k-k-KILLED him!"  
"Yes." says the woman, tying the other end of the rope to the fan, then tightening it enough that the other man is hanging off the ground. _Crack!_ Another flash of lightning gives the man a better view of the body.  
"I-I'm not going to let you get away with this, b-bitch!" the man yells, getting up, charging the woman and swinging the bokkun at her neck. It bounces off.  
_It seems he can already put a little magic into his attacks_ the woman thinks, rubbing her neck. "Try that again and I'll replace that corpse with yours." she says. The man drops the bokkun and stares at her in disbelief. "Thank you, now I don't need to break anything to make you leave it here." says the woman, pulling the man into another thing that opened up behind her.

The only thing the man notices are the eyes. Thousands upon thousands of them. All staring. Staring at him. Despite being terrified, the man's curious mind manages to wonder _Why are they not eyeballs? They'd need to be set into something to look like that, but what?_ The journey lasts a few seconds, a hundred years too long for the man's tastes.

They exit into a large room, with rice paper walls and a kotatsu in the middle. At the kotatsu sit two women, one with nine fox tails, and one with two cat tails. The man notices none of this, his mind too focused on one, single question. "Who the hell are you?" the man says quietly, his eyes wide and his mouth open slightly.

"Ah, yes. Introductions." the woman says. "My name is Yukari Yakumo. This is my shikigami, Ran, and her shikigami, Chen." Yukari says, indicating each in turn. The man's jaw drops when he notices the two at the kotatsu.  
"T-t-t-tails!?" says the dumbstruck man.  
"Yes. And you, your name is Alex, correct?" says Yukari. The man, evidently named Alex, nods.  
"W-why'd you kill that guy back there?" Alex says.  
"Oh that? I needed to make sure no one would go looking for you." Yukari answers.  
"So that was . . ." Alex trails off.  
"You, from a different universe." Yukari finishes the statement.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Escape

"Get away from me!" Alex yells, running from a little blond girl.  
"But you look tasty, mister." the girl says, shooting balls of energy at him. Alex trips over a rock, causing the bullets to go over his head. After hitting the ground, he rolls sideways and jumps back up, sprinting away again.

_I knew TaeKwonDo would help me in a life or death situation, but I didn't realize that it would be running away from a cannibalistic flying loli made of steel!_ Alex thinks, his hand still hurting from when he tried to punch her.

_ I need to do something to make her lose me. I can't keep running forever_ Alex thinks. Remembering a game he used to play with his friends, he starts taking his shirt off. _It's not like I can see without anything covering my eyes, anyway_ he thinks of the sudden darkness that fell when he met the girl. Alex, after fully removing the piece of cloth, somehow managing to keep his snapbrim on in the process, jumps, turns, says "Shirt!", and throws the shirt at the girl's face. Or, at least, where he thinks the girl's face is.

Alex realizes he's been falling for much too long, before landing hard at the bottom of a hole. The girl, completely unaffected by the shirt attack, flies straight over the pitfall trap, and the ball of darkness disappears into the distance. _Welp, I may be stuck at the bottom of a hole, but at least I'm not going to die in the immediate future _Alex thinks. He sits there for a few minutes catching his breath before attempting and failing to climb out of the hole.

_Hmm, I wonder if anyone's fallen for any of my pranks?_ A little girl with rabbit ears merrily skips through a bamboo forest, checking on each one of her traps as she goes. Eventually, she comes upon the one with Alex at the bottom. "Hey mister human, are you okay?" she says.  
"Yeah, this pitfall actually saved my life." Alex says.  
"That's good. I got really lucky today, I managed to prank someone _and_ save a human!" the rabbit-girl says, throwing down a bamboo ladder.

"Where'd you get that?" Alex says.  
"Oh, I found it lying on the ground over there." she says.  
_You found it? That's some luck you got there._ "Anyway, thanks for the help." Alex says, after getting out of the hole. "Now, uh… can you help me get out of this forest? I'm not from around here, and I'm a little lost." Alex says. "Oh, and, by the way, I'm Alex." he says. After the weird eye place, the girls with tails, and the flying cannibal, he decides rabbit ears aren't too terribly strange.

"I'm Tewi, and yes, I can help you get out of here, but… you said you're not from around here? Does that mean you're an outsider?" Tewi says.  
"That psycho-bitch said something about 'the outside world' when she mentioned my home, so I guess I am an outsider?" Alex says, wondering if he'll ever be able to get back home.

Once they reach the edge of the forest, Tewi sees a shirt lying on the ground. "Hey mister, is this your shirt?"  
Alex looks at the grey shirt, which, while slightly torn and a little dirty, is still perfectly wearable. "Yeah, it is. Thanks." he says while thinking, _wow, this girl has some stupidly good luck._ "So, do you know where an 'outsider' like me would go to get back home?" Alex says to Tewi.  
"Yep. You want to go see Reimu. Her shrine is…" she closes her eyes, spins in a circle, and points forward, "That way!" she says.  
"Uh… OK. Thanks, Tewi."Alex says.  
"Bye, mister!" Tewi says as she runs back into the forest.

_There's no way she'd be lucky three times in a row. And anyway, aren't shrines usually on top of mountains or something? Like where old guys go "ommmm" or something?_ Alex looks around and sees a particularly large mountain in the distance. He decides to head towards it.

* * *

_"A young man, by the name of Alexander Johnson, appears to have committed suicide in the exercise room of his suburban home. His friends say he showed no signs of depression, being happy and even having 'hung out' with them earlier that day. His parents concur with this statement, although they add he spent large periods of time in the room of the suicide, looking out the window. Experts say that something feels 'off' about this case, and the police suspect foul play may be involved." *click*_

* * *

"Reimu" Yukari says, exiting a gap, "A young man named Alex may show up here soon. Whatever you do, do not let him back to the outside world. While there, he endangers all of Gensokyo."  
"Wait, how can a kid put everyone in danger?" Reimu says.  
"I don't feel like taking the time to explain. You can house him or throw him to the wild for all I care, just _do not let him out of Gensokyo_. Do you understand?" Yukari says, with a seriousness her voice typically lacks.  
"O-okay, Yukari. If you say so." Reimu says, unused to this tone of urgency from her friend.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The Village

Alex, wandering his way towards the mountain, comes upon a small village. He immediately noticed that nothing in the village indicated any electrical capabilities of any sort. No power lines, telephone poles, streetlights, transformers or generators anywhere to be seen. _Welp, guess I'm not calling anyone,_ Alex thinks with disappointment. Then he realizes that if there is a village, it probably means that there aren't any steel-bodied cannibals there. _Well, either that or I'm about to become the main course_ he thinks, heading towards it.

Despite them all being quite polite, Alex can tell that the villagers don't particularly want him there. They only talk if he says something first, and all quickly come up with a reason why they need to be somewhere else. Then Alex notices a woman sitting on the ground by a building. She has silver hair, a strange hat, and a blue dress. Her knees are drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them, and she is looking down.

"Um… excuse me, miss, but are you alright?" Alex says, approaching the woman.  
"Yeah, it's just that no one showed up for class again today." the woman says.  
"Class? Are you a teacher then?" Alex says.  
The woman looks up at Alex, and says "Yes." She pauses. "Are you from outside?" she says.  
"Apparently. At least, that's what everyone who hasn't attacked me has said so far." Alex says, not mentioning his failed attempts at making friends in the village. Hoping to be able to call at least one person in this crazy place a friend, he says "So, what is it that you teach?" He makes sure to use proper grammar, just in case she teaches English.  
"I teach about the history of Gensokyo." the woman said.

"Is, uh… is Gensokyo this… place?" Alex says, trying to find the right word for a piece of land for which he has no idea of the size. The woman nods. "It sounds Japanese, but, we're speaking English, aren't we?"  
The woman raises an eyebrow, saying "No, we're speaking Japanese. What is Engurishi?" her mouth having trouble forming the foreign word. She looks at him curiously. "How did you get here, anyway?" she says, growing suspicious of the man who made up languages.

"Oh, uh… A terrifying woman named Yukari, I think, said I was dangerous to her home or something." Alex says. The woman starts glaring at him. "H-hey! A-all I did was make a wooden sword float! I don't see how that could threaten _that_ woman." Alex says, confused by her look.  
"I guess you weren't _trying_ to hurt us then. I suppose you can stay in the school for a while. And since you know nothing about Gensokyo's history, part of the conditions of your living here at the school involve attending my classes. I am Ms. Kamashirasawa." Ms. Kamashirasawa says.  
"I don't want to stay here… I just want to go back home. Please help me get out of here, Ms. Kamashirasawa." Alex says.  
"I'm sorry, but if Yukari says you're a threat to Gensokyo while in the outside world, I'll have to believe her. She may be a liar and a trickster, but the good of Gensokyo is always first and foremost in her mind." Ms. Kamashirasawa says.

* * *

_"This just in: It appears there are more strange events surrounding the case of the suicide of Alexander Johnson. Despite all of the victim's genetic markers matching Mr. Johnson's, the victim lacks a scar below his right knee that Mr. Johnson apparently acquired by falling off of a ladder when young. Experts are puzzled by the genetic evidence, but believe that someone used the victim in an attempt to cover up a kidnapping. Police have found no fingerprints belonging to anyone outside the Johnson household, and both parents have alibis." *click*_

* * *

Edit: Ugh, suddenly switching from present tense to past tense, then back again in the same paragraph. How do I used tense? . . . somebody remind me to never upload something right after writing it again. That was embarrassing. Meh, it's fixed now, so no harm done, I guess.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Alex the Math Teacher

"I'm not going to keep feeding you forever, you know." Keine Kamashirasawa tells Alex. "You need to get a job of some sort so you can buy your own food."  
"But, what kind of job can someone like me get? I mean, we don't learn a lot of practical survival skills or anything where I come from." Alex says, figuring that computer skills won't be of much use in a place without electricity or computers.  
"Hmm… What are you good at, then?" Keine says.

"Ehm… I'm pretty good with a sword." Alex says. Keine shakes her head. "What about a Bo Staff, or well, actually I'm pretty good with every weapon I've ever picked up." Alex says. Keine shakes her head again. "Uh… I know martial arts." Alex says.  
"Look, we already have incident resolvers; we don't need you to go around trying to be a hero." Keine says. "And besides, the incident resolvers don't get paid." she says.

"Well, um… I'm good at Math." Alex says.  
Keine starts shaking her head, but then "Wait. How good at Math?" she says.

* * *

"UGH! There's nobody here _again_!" Alex says, sitting in front of the school in much the same pose as he found Keine. It has been a few days since Alex became a Math teacher at Keine's school, and he has yet to teach a single student.  
"Story of my life." Keine, who is sitting beside him, says. Alex raises an eyebrow. "What?" says Keine.  
"It's just, I still don't understand this whole language deal. I mean, to me, it seriously sounds like you're speaking English, and even using idioms and the like. But you say we're speaking Japanese, and yet you still understand the figures of speech I use, despite them being distinctly American." Alex says. "It just really bothers me when something doesn't make any sense. I guess that's why I got so good at math. There's always a right answer and a wrong answer, and it doesn't matter how you approach it, if you get the right answer you're right. The problems themselves may be complex, but the concept behind it is actually really simple."

"Yes, I can understand that. I don't feel the same, however. I like teaching history because everyone sees it differently. That's actually why I started this school. I may be able to tell people about the events, and I may know all about said events, but I'm only one person, who can only see things through my biased view." Keine says.  
"Yeah… I think that may actually be why I disliked History classes in America. Most of the time, if you didn't agree with the teacher, they said you were wrong. They never let us debate the meaning of events, just forced us to copy down a summary of them and then put the summary on the test." Alex says. "It never _really_ felt like I was learning anything. It felt more like I was being talked at than talked with. I really liked reading though, because it never felt like the books were telling me I was wrong, even if I disagreed with them. It just seemed like the book wanted me to know that its viewpoint existed, rather than trying to shove it down my throat, like newspapers and stuff always would."

"Wait… Newspapers, that's it!" Keine says with a big smile on her face.  
"That's what?" Alex says, confused.  
"How we're going to get students. Now, we just need to find that Tengu reporter." Keine says, getting up.  
"Wait, you never tried to advertise the school in the paper before? And wait, there's a paper?" Alex says, seeming somewhat overwhelmed.  
"The Tengu have way more advanced technology than we do. And, although I did try to advertise in the past, now we have something interesting about the school!" Keine says.  
"We do?" Alex says while scratching his head.  
"Yeah, we have you! Everyone around here is curious about the outside world to some degree, and now we have an outsider as a teacher!" Keine says, visibly shaking with excitement.

* * *

Within a few days, almost everyone in the village has gotten the news. The strange man who had nervously walked in one day is an outsider, and, even more surprising, he is now a teacher at Keine's school. However, he will only teach to those who also attend Keine's class, right before his. Also, due to the fact that even most of the adults have only basic arithmetic skills, both Alex and Keine now teach two classes each. One in the morning, which is for children and young teenagers, and one in the evening, which is for sixteen-year-olds and up.

* * *

"Mr. Johnson?" one of the children says.  
"Yes? What is it?" Alex says politely.  
"How long did you stay awake every day when you live in the outside?" the child says.  
"I'm sorry, but as you know," Alex points at the sheet of paper, a stack of which he had gotten from the Tengu in return for the 'big scoop', tacked to the wall, "questions about the outside world are to wait until after class."  
"But I don't wanna learn math." "I'm just here to learn about the outside world." "My parents said I should come here to learn about you, not stupid math." "When're we ever gonna use this as youkai hunters anyways?" The class erupts in complaints.

Alex sighs, then snaps his fingers and points at a girl in the front row, saying "3+5+7-4 go!"  
"Eh-uh-umm-erm" The girl stammers, trying to figure out the answer.  
"Too late! You got blasted." Alex says. The class falls silent. "I'll be honest; you're probably never going to use Math anywhere outside of this classroom. _However_, the things that learning Math teaches you will help you for the rest of your life. Especially if you want to be a youkai hunter." Alex says, glad that Keine's history classes taught him what youkai and youkai hunters were. "The abilities to quickly solve problems and to think of simple solutions to complicated situations are the most important skills you can have in life. When a man-eating monster is shooting thousands of bullets at you, you don't have time to wonder 'oh, is that way safe, or should I go over there. Maybe this is the safest place, but then again, there's also that spot. Maybe I should try rushing through while they're in groups, or maybe I should wait and see what they do when they get over here.' If you take that long to make a decision, you get blasted. Simple as that. I may have never hunted youkai myself, but the way that learning Math has made my brain work would make me pretty good at it." Alex concludes his rant with a sigh. "So, time to learn Math. Any objections?" he says.  
"No, Mr. Johnson." the children all say at once.

* * *

_"Even more strange occurrences in the case of Alexander Johnson. A few dead skin cells belonging to none of the members of Mr. Johnson's family were found on a wooden sword at the scene of the crime. Experts say that while these cells, at first glance, appear to be human, their genetic structure is quite different. No one is quite sure what to make of this, though some people are claiming it to be the work of aliens or demons, citing the present lack of cloning technology, and the fact that the body in the room shares the exact same genetics as Mr. Johnson. Most, however, say that both the similar genes of the body and the missing man, and the inhuman genetics of the skin on the sword are due to an error in the machinery." *click*_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

To the Shrine

"Hey, Keine? I was wondering if you could take me to see, uh… Reimu, I think her name was." Alex says after the last day of classes that week.  
"You want to go to the Hakurei Shrine?" Keine says.  
"Yeah, I think that's what they said." Alex says, hoping to all the gods the once-atheist now considers possibly believing in that this shrine is where Reimu lives.  
"They, who? Where did you hear about Reimu, anyway?" Keine says.  
"Oh, some of the kids were talking about her after class. She seemed like an interesting person, and since I'm not allowed out of Gensokyo, I figured I might as well try to make some friends" Alex says, fabricating the story on the spot.

_I guess that's not too unlikely. After all, most of those kids want to be youkai hunters like her. And anyway, if Yukari doesn't want Alex to leave, she'd have already told Reimu about him, so it's not like there's any problems with it even if he is lying, _Keine thinks. She waits a little longer to respond. She says "Yeah, I guess it's not too much of a problem. Just remember, now that you're working for me, you're doubly not allowed to ask her to take you out of here."  
"Wait, she can do that?" Alex says, feigning ignorance.  
_I guess he really didn't know, _Keine thinks while saying "Yes. In fact, I probably would have taken you there immediately if you hadn't told me about what Yukari said."

_Shit, _Alex thinks, managing to keep his face even. He says "Well, now that you've told me that, I'm sorry, but I can't guarantee I won't ask her. I mean, I like it here and all, but I really do miss my family and friends." He looks down, remembering once more the events that brought him to this fantasy land. "They all think I killed myself. Yukari dragged another me through one of those portals, snapped his neck, and hung him from the light."  
_Shit,_ it is Keine's turn to think this. _Not only did I tell him who to pester to get him out of here, I also made him depressed._ "I-I'm sure we'll find some sort of compromise that'll let you go back. I mean, what threat could you really pose to someplace as well protected as Gensokyo, anyway?" Keine says, hoping to cheer Alex up. "We'll go see her tomorrow, okay?" she says.  
"Yeah. Thanks, Keine." Alex says, getting up to head into the school building serving as his temporary home.  
"Hey, uh… I, uh, I have an extra room in my house. You… You should sleep there tonight. It's a long walk to the shrine, so you'll need a good night's rest." Keine says, stopping him.  
"Uh… OK. Thanks, Keine." Alex says.

* * *

_BOOM!_ "OH GOD, WHAT WAS THAT!?" Alex shouts, having thrown himself to the ground in an attempt to avoid any shrapnel that may or may not be heading his way.  
"That, I believe, was my friend and the moon princess." Keine says as she continues walking the path around the bamboo forest Alex had found himself in a couple of weeks ago.  
Whimpering, Alex gets up from the ground and runs to catch up with the History teacher. "Is that normal around here?" he says, clearly still frightened.  
"It's just a Danmaku battle. Although, they normally don't get quite this… loud." Keine says, after another explosion. "I think it's because both of them are immortal, so technically it doesn't matter how much power they put behind their spells, since neither of them can die anyway." Keine says, her face falling a bit.

"I'm glad they weren't fighting when I was here earlier." Alex says, calmer now.  
"You've been here before?" Keine says, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.  
"Yeah, when I ran away from Yukari, she sent me through one of her weird portals, and I ended up in the middle of that bamboo forest." Alex says, while thinking, _and of course, we're going in the direction that Tewi girl pointed me in when she helped me out of here earlier._  
_I can't really blame him for running from Yukari. She unnerves me more than enough, and she didn't kill an alternate me the first time I met her,_ Keine thinks.

A short while later, everything goes dark. _Damn_, Keine thinks. _I was really hoping we wouldn't run into any issues on our way to Reimu. _  
"Uh, Keine…" Alex says.  
"Don't worry, she's just a low ranking youkai, not too threatening." Keine says.  
_So, apparently, I almost got eaten by a wimp. Great, that sure makes me feel confident about surviving here_ Alex thinks, chuckling nervously to himself.  
Keine, thinking that Alex thought she was joking, says "No, she really is, so don't worry. I'm an experienced youkai hunter, myself."  
_In what kind of place do history teachers beat up monsters? Oh… right._ Alex thinks, having momentarily forgotten exactly what sort of place Gensokyo was.

"Go away, Rumia. We don't have time to deal with you right now." Keine says into the darkness.  
"But I wanted to eat that guy that's with you." Rumia says, having not forgotten his escape a few weeks back.  
"I'd get down if I were you, Alex." Keine says, rising into the air.  
_Floating History teachers fighting flying lolis. I really hope I haven't just gone crazy,_ Alex thinks, laying on the ground and covering his head.

Due both to the thick darkness and the fact that he is curled up in a ball with his face on the ground, Alex sees none of the fight between his co-worker and the little girl who wants to eat him. The battle doesn't last very long, and the darkness soon dissipates.

"Thank you very much, Keine." Alex says after she lands back on the ground.  
"No problem. Part of my job is to keep people safe, after all." Keine says. "Anyways, we're almost there. I don't think we'll run into anyone else on the way at this point." she says.

* * *

_"Even more strange information has come to light in the suicide turned murder-kidnapping case of suburban teen Alexander Johnson. The strange skin cells found on the wooden sword at the scene of the crime, in addition to skin samples of the murder victim, have been sent to genetics labs around the world, and they have confirmed that the original information regarding the genetics of these two samples was, indeed, correct. Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we are not as alone as we once thought…" *click*_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

And Now for Something Completely Different

"Hey, Chaz. Can you believe this shit? People actually think the kid was taken by demons or some shit like that." a man with the rather unfortunate name of Anders Anderson says.  
"Well, when scientists around the world all say whatever it was wasn't human, I'm inclined to believe them. There's a reason why they have their job and I have mine, Battery." Anders's partner, Charles Bartholomew, says, using Anders's most popular nickname.  
"I guess. But still, demons? I'm more leaning towards it being mutants, if it wasn't just the kid accidentally hitting the family dog or something. But either way, what would anyone want with a suburbia punk who probably doesn't know his ass from his anus." Battery says. They both laugh, remembering the story that went around base a while ago about the trainee who mooned a sergeant when the sergeant asked him to "Show me Uranus, son!" during a training op at night.

Both these men are part of the UNSRFGOU, or United Nations Special Reserves Forces Ground Operations Unit. Of course, no one in the unit knows why "Ground Operations" is part of their name, as they are the only Special Reserves Forces unit the UN, or, as most of them call it, the Big-un, has. What they, and everyone else who knows about them, does know, is that there's not much that can stand in their way. They are better trained, better equipped, and better staffed than even the U.S. Military's Seal-Teams. Of course, this means that the situation has to be incredibly serious for them to be called to action, so they generally just sit around training all day.

"Speaking of strange things," Chaz says, "our new captain's pretty weird, don't you think?"  
"Yeah, although I'm not sure what's stranger, her, the fact that the Big-un hired a merc, or the fact that said merc was hired straight into being a captain." Battery says.  
"I'd definitely go with her." Chaz says. "There's just something not right about her. I've never once seen her tired from training, have you?" he says.  
"Now that you mention it, no. She always looks like she could run another twenty miles, lift another hundred pounds, or do another thousand push-ups even by the end of the day." Battery says, deep in thought. "And also, there's that look of hers. It's actually kinda creepy, man. She looks like she's looking into your soul or something." he says. Chaz laughs. "What?" Battery huffs, throwing a spare boot at him.  
Chaz catches the boot, saying "I thought you didn't believe in demons, Battery."  
"I don't, she's just kinda scary, is all." Battery says.

These are two men who were not afraid of their last captain, a seven-foot-six mountain of a man who, if they sneezed at the wrong time, would punch them in the stomach before shouting "DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY!" They are both unnerved by this five-foot-seven woman who is perfectly amicable at most times, and understands that sometimes, you just gotta sneeze. Their previous captain had died during an anti-terrorism op, killed by a stray shot from a friendly. He was a douchebag, but no one deserved to die from allied fire, so there was a big, sad funeral for the guy. Although, it wasn't as sad as it would've been if anyone had remembered the guy's name. Everyone on the unit just called him Cap, even the guys on the other teams.

"Oi, Chaz, Battery! Hurry your asses up or you're going to be late for training!" a woman yells from outside their room.  
"Speak of the devil." Battery says. He looks at the clock. "She's right, we'd better hurry up. I'd rather not deal with _that_ ever again." Battery says, changing into his uniform. Their new captain is perfectly amicable at _most_ times, but she has absolutely no tolerance for tardiness. The punishment for tardiness is that she sits them down and stares at them for an hour. The two men have only ever been late one time since she became captain. They head out to the training grounds. It is four-thirty in the morning.

* * *

_"America has announced plans to launch a national effort to search for Alexander Johnson, the suburban young man who was kidnapped by something not human. When asked why he plans to focus the nation's resources on finding a single teenager, the President responded 'We're not just going to sit back and let some… thing take our children. We're going to find out what did this, why it was done, and how to stop it. We of the United States of America do not want anyone else to go through the pain that Mr. and Mrs. Blake Johnson went through the day they thought their son had committed suicide.' For the first time since the country's founding, the vote in congress was unanimous." *click*_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Not a Chance

"Hello, Reimu? Are you here?" Keine says, throwing some money into the offertory box.  
"Yes, I am. Give me a moment, please." Reimu says from inside the shrine. She pokes her head out from the shrine, saying "How sweet do you want your tea?"  
"I would like it fairly sweet" Keine says.  
"I actually prefer it bitter, myself" Alex says.  
"Okay, so two sweet, one bitter." Reimu says to herself, heading back inside the shrine.

A short while later, Reimu fully exits the shrine, carrying a plate with three cups of tea. She is wearing her usual red dress with the detached white sleeves. "Come on, sit down." she says, sitting on the raised porch and patting the space beside her.  
"Thank you, and again, hello Reimu." Keine says, sitting and taking the cup of tea that Reimu indicates for her.  
"Yes, thank you, Miss Reimu. I'm, uh, I'm Alex." Alex says, sitting down. Reimu tenses slightly at the name, but indicates his cup of tea nonetheless. Alex sniffs the tea before taking a sip. "What kind of tea is this? I don't remember ever smelling it before." he says.

"So, you're an outsider?" Reimu says, with a not-quite-but-almost accusing tone of voice. Alex nods, looking somewhat confused. "This is sencha, and it's quite common around here. That's how I could tell." Reimu says.  
"Oh. I imagine you can guess why I'm here, then." Alex says.  
Reimu nods. "Excuse me, Alex, but may I talk to Keine alone for a while?" she says. Alex nods, before taking a sip of the tea. _This is pretty good, but it's a bit too sweet for my taste_, Alex thinks as the two women head into the shrine.

* * *

"Keine, a while ago Yukari told me about someone who was dangerous to Gensokyo. She told me, 'Whatever you do, _do not let him out of Gensokyo_' or something like that. And you brought him here, so you need to help me deal with him." Reimu says, once they are out of earshot of Alex.  
"I know he's dangerous if he goes back into the outside world. When I met him, he said that Yukari brought him here, saying he was dangerous to her home." Keine says. "But… He's not a bad guy. He just wants to go back and live with his family and play with his friends. Are you sure Yukari's right about this? I mean, there has to be something we can do for the poor kid." she says.

"I'm sorry, but Yukari's never been wrong about things like this before. I trust her over this outsider who I've only just met, don't you?" Reimu says.  
"Yes, but… After I met him, he decided to become a teacher at the school, and he didn't even complain about me making him sleep in the school building. The kids all love him, too, and you know more than anyone about a child's intuition." Keine says, referring to how Reimu solves most incidents based on 'intuition'. "I just can't see how someone who's such a good teacher could possibly be evil enough to destroy Gensokyo." she says.  
"Hmm, yeah. If he really is being a good teacher at the school, I don't think he'd intentionally hurt us. But what if he wasn't _trying_ to hurt us? What if it was just something about him being in the outside world that indirectly endangered us?" Reimu says.

Keine gasps. "Now that you mention it, he said, when he was talking about Yukari taking him here, that he managed to make a sword float. What if… What if he was planning on talking to dangerous people, people he thought he could trust, about this, and they're the real danger to us?" she says.  
"Yeah, that might be it." Reimu says. "In that case, as long as we get him to swear to never try to use magic again, he can go back home!" Reimu says, with a smile that slowly fades as she notices the sad look on Keine's face. "What is it, Keine?" she says.  
"Apparently, Yukari already took steps to make sure no one went looking for him. He said that she dragged an alternate him into the room, and made it look like he committed suicide." Keine says, sounding defeated.

"Damn." Reimu says. "In that case, if he did show up fine back in his home, it would cause an even bigger fiasco than him using magic would." she says.

* * *

"I really am sorry about this, Alex." Reimu says.  
Alex looks down, sniffling. "WHY GODAMMIT, WHY?! … … All I wanted was to know that magic was real. It's real, alright… Real enough that it FUCKED MY LIFE OVER!" Alex yells, crying.  
"Well… We can at least help you realize your dream. We can teach you magic." Reimu says, trying to comfort the poor man.  
"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A FUCKING MAGICIAN! I just wanted to make video games and make people happy…" Alex sobs, running into the shrine.

* * *

_"The United States has asked for UN support in its mission to find Alexander Johnson, and fight whatever it was that took him away. The UN has agreed, and is sending its special forces units into all countries that belong to it. The agreement of the organization to find a single child has raised some eyebrows amongst its members. What does this mean for foreign relations, and does the U.S. control the U.N.?" *click*_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Close Call

"Captain, ma'am, permission to ask a question?" Battery says, sitting in a train clearly meant for people shorter than the six-foot-seven man.  
The woman sitting across from him sighs. She says "Soldier, permission to speak my mind?"  
Battery and Chaz look at each other, not used to hearing their commanding officer ask them for permission to speak. "Uh, permission granted, ma'am." Battery says awkwardly.  
"Thanks." the woman says. "You guys know I'm just a mercenary hired by the UN, right? So why are you being so formal? If I could stand formalities, I'd not have bothered becoming a mercenary. Actually _joining_ the army is a lot more reliable of an income source than hiring yourself out, even if it does pay a bit less. So, from now on, you don't need to ask for permission or any of that shit, and you can just call me by name." she says.

"Uh, yes ma'am." both of the men say.  
The woman sighs, putting her hand on her forehead. "I _just_ told you guys to use my name, didn't I?" she says.  
"Yes, ma'am, err, Alexis. Sorry, Alexis, uh, ma'am." Battery says, eliciting a laugh from Chaz. "What? I'm just not used to talking so casually with a C.O., especially given who our last one was." Battery says.  
"Anyway, Battery, what was your question?" Alexis says.  
"Oh, right. What are we doing in Japan, again? I don't quite understand." Battery says.  
"That would be because I specifically asked for us to get sent here when the UN was assigning locations for the search of that missing kid." Alexis says.  
"But, why'd you ask for Japan, Alexis?" Chaz says. "It seems like a long way to take some suburbia kid from the eastern US." he says.  
"Call it a hunch." Alexis says with a smile.

* * *

"Reimu, we have a problem." Yukari says, exiting a gap in front of the shrine. "It seems I've underestimated the humans' current level of technology. They appear to have found out that the body I left in the outsider's room to deter a search wasn't the boy. They also, somehow, managed to find out that someone else was there, although, they don't actually know it was me. In addition, the most powerful forces in the outside world are now looking for him, and one of their 'teams' is headed towards us."  
"What?!" Reimu says. "So, by trying to hide our existence, you somehow managed to attract the attention of incredibly powerful people? Thanks a lot, Yukari." she says.  
"Well, at least we can send the poor guy home, now." Keine says.

"No, we can't." Yukari says. "They don't actually know we're here at the moment. If we sent the kid back, he'd probably tell them about where we are."  
"I don't think he'd tell them anything like that, Yukari. He really seems to care about the kids at school, and he seems like a really nice guy." Keine says.  
"Well, since I messed up trying to cover him up in the first place, I did some investigations into human technology and practices. It turns out that they would likely torture him until he told them about us." Yukari says, somewhat disgusted.  
"They'd really do that to someone they're trying so hard to rescue?" Reimu says.  
"From what I can tell, the people in charge don't actually care about him. They just want to try to 'request' our abilities to help them keep control over the populace." Yukari says, visibly frustrated this time. "Humans with power are truly disgusting creatures." she says.

* * *

"I say we go that way." Alexis says, pointing into the woods.  
"Why over there? The maps say that there's absolutely nothing there for miles." Chaz says.  
"Think about it, Chaz. If you were trying to hide someone from the whole world, would you hide him in a city? Dipshit." Battery says.  
"Yes, actually. Haven't you ever heard of hiding in plain sight?" Alexis says, causing Chaz to flip Battery the bird. "But these people are supposedly not human, so I doubt they live near humans. It would be really hard to hide something like being an entirely different species from your neighbors, don't you think? Besides, I have a good feeling about that direction." she says, before heading off.  
"Well, come on, birdbrain. Don't just stand there all day." Chaz says, following Alexis. Battery returns Chaz's gesture from earlier, then follows his teammates.

* * *

Keine has gone inside to check on Alex. Yukari, looking through an open gap, mutters something that Reimu can't hear. "What was that, clumsy?" Reimu says.  
Yukari glares at her and says "Now's not the time for insults, lazy. That team I mentioned earlier is headed straight for the gateway."  
"What? Well, aren't you going to do something about it?" Reimu says, flustered.  
"No, I'm just going to sit here and let them take over Gensokyo. Of course I'm going to do something! I'll try to scare them away from the shrine." Yukari says, sarcasm dripping from the first sentence.  
"Are you sure that won't just draw more attention to us?" Reimu says, her brow glistening with sweat.  
"If you have a better idea, I'm all ears." Yukari says. Reimu stays silent. "At the very least, it should give us some time to prepare." Yukari says.

* * *

"Uh, hey guys… wasn't it daytime went we went into the woods?" Battery says, looking up at the midnight sky.  
"Yeah, um… about that… look over there." Chaz says, pointing back in the direction they came from.  
"Is that… the Sun!?" Alexis says, her eyes wide. _I'd heard they were strong, but this? _she thinks.  
"Holy shit… well, I think we found the place…" Battery says. "Though, at this point, I kinda wish we hadn't…" he says.  
"Hey, guys, over there." Alexis says, pointing towards a clearing.  
"What is it, Ma'am? I don't see anything over there." Battery says, straining his eyes.  
"Well, there's something over there, come on." Alexis says, walking towards the thing she sees.  
"Why do I feel like we're headed down the rabbit hole?" Battery says, following his captain.  
"Maybe 'cuz you're too big for the forest." Chaz says, trying to lighten the mood, but neither of the men laugh.

* * *

"Damn, who are these people?" Yukari says.  
"That doesn't sound good. What's happening out there, Yukari?" Reimu says.  
"I manipulated the border between day and night so that it was both at the same time, and they only stopped for about a minute. What's worse, the leader saw the other shrine in the clearing." Yukari says.  
"Dammit! Isn't there _anything_ you can do, Yukari?" Reimu says, with a mix of frustration and fear.  
"Well I could just straight up kill them, but that would only give us a few days, at most, and after that, we'd have to deal with the entire rest of the organization." Yukari says.  
"Reimu! Yukari! We have a problem!" Keine's voice comes from inside the shrine. "I can't find Alex anywhere, and it looks like that door you told us to never open is unlocked!"  
"NO!" Yukari yells. "Dammit, he'll tell them all about us! Keine, go through that door and look for him! Reimu, come with me!" Yukari says, opening a gap and rushing through it.

* * *

"Base, this is Alpha Team. Come in, Base." Alexis says, holding her hand up to her ear. Something Battery and Chaz can't hear crackles through her earpiece. "Yes, this is Alpha Team, reporting in. We have found a suspicious Shinto shrine in the middle of a forest. … Well, after entering the forest, the sky became dark, as if it was night, but only above us. … No, sir, I am not high. … Not drunk, either, sir. … Yes, I'm sure, sir. … Negative, sir. I believe entering would only get us killed at the present time, sir. … Because someone in there can fuck with nature so thoroughly that it's both day and night at the same time, sir. … No, we're requesting _butterflies_, sir. Of course I want reinforcements! … My _apologies_, sir. … Roger, sir. Marking. … At present, sir, we plan to fall back and wait for reinforcements. … Rog-" _Crash!_ "Hold, sir. A loud noise has come from the shrine, sir. Orders? … Yes, sir. … Alpha Team out, sir."

"We have to go in there _alone?_" Chaz says, shaking slightly.  
"Yup." Alexis says. "Safeties off, guys. We're not taking prisoners." she says.  
"Yeah, let's go into the creepy-ass shrine that's making noises. Whoop-de-fucking-doo." Battery says, readying his weapon.  
"Yeah, pretty much." Alexis says, doing the same.

"And what is such a shady group of young people doing in the woods at this hour?" Yukari says to the soldiers, still hiding inside her gap.  
Alexis spins and points her gun directly at the invisible gap. "Who's there? Show yourself!" she demands.  
_Damn good ears you got there, kid_, Yukari thinks, while motioning for Reimu, who is at another invisible opening in the gap dimension, to say her part.  
"It's not polite to enter other people's property without their permission." Reimu says.  
"Damn, another one?" Battery says, pointing his gun in Reimu's general direction. Alexis keeps her gun trained on Yukari.  
"The probability of you being tourists is rather low. What would people like you want here?" Ran says, from a third gap.  
"Shit, more of them?" Chaz says, aiming near Ran.  
"Hee hee, we can have lots of fun with these guys." Chen says giddily from a fourth gap.  
"Base, this is Alpha Team. We have a situation. Base? Base, respond!" Alexis says, still aiming at Yukari.  
"Now, that wouldn't be fair, would it? I'm sorry, but we have rules here about playing, and you always have to be fair." Yukari says wickedly.  
"Is it playtime? I like playtime!" Chen says with excitement.

* * *

"Base, this is Alpha Team. Come in, Base" Alex hears a woman's voice as he sits in the dilapidated outside world shrine.  
_Now what are they talking about?_ Alex thinks, though he hardly cares at this point.  
"Yes, this is Alpha Team, reporting in. We have found a suspicious Shinto shrine in the middle of a forest." the woman says.  
_Wait, Alpha Team? Reporting? I don't think Keine or Reimu would be talking like that… does that mean I'm outside? Those people can help me then!_ Alex thinks, looking up. He realizes that it's pitch-black, and thinks _shit, have I really been sitting here that long? I'm pathetic._ He gets up, and tries to stumble his way towards the voice.  
"Well, after entering the forest, the sky became dark, as if it was night, but only above us." the voice says.  
_Well, I guess I wasn't there all day, after all. _Alex thinks. He is having very little luck making his way towards the exit. Seeing as the voice is speaking in a military fashion, he is trying to not startle them by falling and breaking something, as he doesn't want to get shot.  
"No, sir, I am not high. … Not drunk, either, sir." the woman says.  
"Reimu! Yukari! We have a problem! I can't find Alex anywhere, and it looks like that door you told us to never open is unlocked!" Keine says, from further in the shrine.

_Sorry Keine, but getting back home is more important._ Alex thinks, truly sorry about abandoning the school. _*Creak* And that would be her coming after me, I imagine._ Alex thinks.  
"Alex. Alex, are you there?" Keine whispers, just barely loud enough for Alex to hear her. Alex doesn't say anything, just continues making his way toward the exit as silently as he can. His leg bumps a table with a quiet thud.  
"Ow." Alex says as quietly as someone saying ow can say it.  
"I'm sorry, Alex, but I can't let you go out there," Keine says, "Yukari says those people will torture you until you tell them about us. That wouldn't be good for anyone involved. Now, please Alex, come back over here."  
"I'm sorry, Keine, but I've got to get back home." Alex says.

"Sorry, Alex." Keine says, and she shoots a bullet at him, knocking him down. She covers her mouth with one hand and lets out a small gasp as the rotting support beam he fell into falls on Alex with a crash, knocking him unconscious. "Oh no." she says, worried. She runs over to the now broken support beam. Thankfully, it broke over him in such a way that he is not under it, but he is still injured. After checking his pulse to make she didn't accidentally kill him, Keine brings Alex back through the door between Gensokyo and the outside world.

* * *

_Bang!_ Alexis shoots her handgun, the bullet of which ends up going through a gap and embedding itself in the ground near her foot. "Shit! Fall back! I repeat, fall back!" she yells, sprinting away from the shrine, closely followed by Battery and Chaz.  
"No need to tell me twice! I didn't want to stick around here before, and now I find out these things can shoot our bullets at us!" Battery says, taking the lead in the retreat, being the biggest of the three, and therefore having the longest legs.  
"Yeah, I don't remember putting 'return to sender' on any of our bullets, do you?" Chaz says, managing to elicit a laugh from the other two, despite the situation.

* * *

"Well, we're safe for the time being, but that woman, their leader, called for reinforcements. I'll need to cause incidents to as many of their other teams as I can. I don't know if we'd be able to fight all of them at once." Yukari says. "While I'm doing that, see if you can't make Alex useful, will you? I'd rather him be able to fight, instead of just being some we end up killing ourselves trying to protect."  
"Alright, Yukari. But this is still your fault, so you need to help us through the end, okay?" Reimu says. Yukari nods.

* * *

"Base, this is Alpha Team. Come in, Base."  
_"We read you, Alpha team. Did you investigate the shrine?"  
_"No sir. We were attacked by an unknown number of hostiles outside the shrine, and were unable to fight back."  
_"Understood, Alpha Team. Unfortunately, as for those reinforcements you requested, I'm afraid we can only spare Beta, Theta, and Gamma Teams. We have received reports of multiple other incidents like yours, and so cannot spare everyone to look at each location. Time is of the essence. I'm sure you understand, Alpha Team."  
_"Roger, sir." _click_ "'Kay, guys, looks like we're not getting as big a buff as I'd hoped. Only three other teams are available."  
"Damn, we're supposed to fight them with just twelve people? Well, I guess we don't have a choice, do we?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Preparations: Inside the Barrier

"So, any luck on getting Alex combat ready?" Yukari says.  
"No, I don't think he'll be able to concentrate nearly enough to be able to learn anything before they try to attack again. What about you, any luck gathering more people to help?" Reimu says dejectedly.  
"Well, I got one person. Everyone else was complaining about it being my fault and that I should handle my own problems, or said they were too busy with other things to pitch in." Yukari says.  
"Well, who was that one person, and uh, couldn't you just use your border manipulation to make Alex able to use magic, Yukari?" Keine says.  
"It was Rumia, but only under the condition that I remove her inhibitor for the duration of the fight. Also, no, I couldn't just give Alex magic, at least, not in a way that wouldn't rip his body to shreds." Yukari says.

Alex exits the shrine, sitting on the front porch with the three women, saying "Is… Is there anything I can do to help at all?"  
Yukari is silent for a few moments. "That depends: How much do you want to help?" she says.  
"I mean, this whole mess is my fault. So, I should do whatever I can to help, right?" Alex says.  
"This is a bit more than just helping for one fight." Yukari says. "There is a way to teach you magic instantly, but if I do it… You will never _ever_ be able to see your family again."  
Alex winces at this information. "I-i-is that… Is it the only way for me to be able to help?" Alex says, about to cry.  
"Yes." Yukari says, looking down sadly.

Alex stands up and walks back into the shrine. The three women faintly hear him crying. "What are you thinking of doing, Yukari?" Keine says.  
"If he agrees," Yukari says, "I'm going to turn him into a youkai."  
"What." both Reimu and Keine say, dumbfounded.  
"Specifically, I'm going to create a Tsukumogami, and merge his soul with its while its soul is still weak." Yukari says.

* * *

"In order for you to be able to help us, I need to turn you into a youkai." Yukari says, having gone inside the shrine to speak with Alex.  
Alex thinks about this for a long time, nearly two hours.  
"I'm sorry to rush you, Alex, but I need to know whether we need to get you somewhere safe, or whether you'll help us in the upcoming fight. We can't be worried about you while we're trying to fend off the best the outside world has to offer." Yukari says, firmly but warmly.  
"… Well… I can't just let Keine fight them without helping, not after the hospitality she's shown me. … Are you sure there isn't another way, Yukari?" Alex says.  
"If there was, I wouldn't be asking you this. I know it's hard to give up your humanity, especially for people you hardly know." Yukari says. "Trust me, I truly do wish there was another way."  
"Alright." Alex says. "I made a promise to myself, a long time ago… I am willing to die for my friends. I have been for years."

"You're sure about this, Alex? From what Yukari told me, there's no going back once she does this." Reimu says.  
Alex laughs a hopeless laugh. "What kind of person would I be if I couldn't even keep promises to myself? … But… I'm scared…" Alex says, nervously playing with the collar of his shirt. He looks at Keine, and says "You've done so much for me since I got here, Keine. I see a chance to repay that now, and I am going to take it. I'm sad that I'll never see my parents again, but I couldn't face them if I just let someone like you die because I was too afraid to help. And as for my friends… I'm sure they'll understand. People move during their lifetimes, and sometimes we never see each other again. It's hard, but that's already happened to me before. Someone moved away a few years ago, and despite the internet and all of that stuff that should keep us in touch, I haven't spoken to him since then."

"You're a good person, Alex. I'm sure you're doing your parents proud." Keine says. She looks down for a moment, then looks back at the man. "Thank you, Alex. For everything you've done, for the school, and for Gensokyo. Thank you."

* * *

"Okay, Alex. If you had to choose one object from the outside world to have with you forever, what would it be?" Yukari asks.  
Alex thinks for a while, before saying "My mother's bokkun. That way, I'll have a reminder of my parents, even with how far away they are."  
"That wooden sword you hit me with?" Yukari says. Alex nods, and Yukari reaches into a gap, pulling out the sword. She manipulates the border between new and old, and, since it starts rotting, the border between useless and usable. The sword is now in perfect condition, and is ninety-nine years, 365 days, five hours and fifty-eight minutes old. This is exactly two minutes before it gains consciousness. She hands the sword to Alex. "Do not move. If you do, I have no idea what might happen." Yukari says. She gestures at Keine and Reimu, saying "Hold him still, if you would." They nod, and grab his arms.

A large magic circle appears on the ground, its center directly below Alex and the sword. There is one minute left. Yukari starts chanting something under her breath. A strange gust of wind starts blowing towards Alex from all sides. Thirty seconds. Yukari's chanting and the wind both pick up speed, causing Reimu and Keine to almost fall over. However, they hold Alex steady, and when the time of the sword's awakening comes to pass, Yukari says "Border Between Self and Other!" and there is a bright flash of light. Alex is unconscious, and the women take him into the shrine to recuperate.

* * *

_"Alpha Team, this is base. Come in, Alpha Team"_  
"This is Alpha Team. We read you, base."  
_"Beta, Theta, and Gamma Teams are on their way, Alpha Team. They will arrive in one day, and then you will have one more day to show them exactly why we hired you. After that, we expect you to take the shrine, and capture or kill any creatures you might find there. Understood, Alpha Team?"  
_"Roger, Base. Don't worry, I'm not interested in losing my paycheck anytime soon, sir." _click_ "Okay guys, we got one day 'til reinforcements arrive, and then one day to become one big, happy family. After that, we're going in."  
"Understood, Alexis."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Preparations: Outside the Barrier

"I assume you're all wondering why base put me, a hired hand, in charge of our squad." Alexis says.  
The members of Beta, Theta, and Gamma Teams look nervously at each other, agreeing with the sentiment but not wanting to acknowledge the fact that they doubted their C.O.  
"Well, the first reason," Alexis says, pulling twelve rifles seemingly out of nowhere, "are these right here."  
Everyone examines the guns, not bothering to question from where she got them. Touko, captain of Theta Team, turns one over before saying "But ma'am, these just seem like normal rifles. Why'd these give you a captainship, if I may ask?"  
Alexis pulls out the magazine on one of the guns and tosses it to the red-headed woman. Instead of bullets, the magazine simply has a number on it: 100%. "What, do these things run on batteries or something, Alexis?" Chaz says, looking over Theta's captain's shoulder.

The leader of Beta Team, Gilgamesh, says "Refer to your captain by-"  
Alexis cuts him off. "Actually, I'd prefer it if you all called me Alexis. I'm… uncomfortable with formalities." the mercenary says. She says "Anyway, Chaz was pretty much right. These guns don't shoot bullets, they shoot lasers. I know a bit more about our enemy than you all do, and if I remember correctly, normal bullets wouldn't even be able to hurt them, let alone kill them for good."  
"Wait, Alexis. If you knew about our enemy beforehand, why didn't you tell us anything? That doesn't exactly foster a relationship of trust." Battery says.  
"I'm sorry, and I do wish I could've told you sooner, but I'm not allowed to reveal this sort of information unless it becomes absolutely necessary." Alexis says.  
Mirielle, leader of Gamma Team, says "And who exactly decides when we need to know?"

Alexis simply pulls out another gun, a pistol, and starts talking about it. "This is the most dangerous weapon I have, hence why I'm keeping the only one. I'm not allowed to tell you exactly what it does at the moment, but if I pull it out, make sure you're nowhere near where I'm aiming the thing. Understood?" she says.  
Battery starts to say "Why aren't-"  
"Understood?" Alexis repeats, with a threatening tone.  
"Yes, ma'am." everyone else in the room says.  
"Good." the woman says.

"So, anyway, since our enemies can't be hurt by normal guns, does that mean we have the element of surprise?" Chaz says, indicating the ordinary looking guns and trying to alleviate the heavy atmosphere in the room.  
Alexis gets up and heads to the window. She looks in the direction of the shrine, and shakes her head. "No, I don't think so. The sky above the target is perfectly normal at present, so I can only assume that trick with the night was supposed to scare us away. In order for that to happen, they would have had to have known right when we entered the forest. I can only assume that they're keeping tabs on us. Another reason why I can't talk too much." Alexis says.

"Well, why don't why find the bug and dispose of it?" Mirielle says.  
"I doubt they'd need a bug," Battery says, shuddering slightly, "You weren't there when they chased us off. We couldn't see any of them, and any bullets we shot just came flying right back towards us."  
"Are you sure there weren't just monkeys in the trees throwing rocks?" Gilgamesh asks condescendingly. His team snickers.  
"I'd appreciate no more comments of that nature being made, okay?" Alexis says. "Unless, of course," she says, picking up the pistol she was talking about earlier, "you really want to find out what this does, firsthand." Gilgamesh scowls and sits down.

"Anyways, back on topic, Battery is right. I have to imagine that the enemy has someone watching us right now, and that person is reporting everything they see and hear to the enemy commander. As such, I suggest we make our strategy on the go, and that none of us discuss our personal combat skills. Also, in that vein, similarly to how normal bullets won't work on our foes, neither will melee combat. As such, I recommend we keep our distance as much as possible. Is everyone clear on how tomorrow's going down?" Alexis says, looking around the room.  
"Yes, ma'am." everyone says.  
Alexis puts her hand on her forehead and says "I thought I told all of you to use my name, didn't I?"  
A few of the members of her new squad chuckle.

* * *

"Who is that woman who knows so much?"  
"What was that, Yukari?"  
"Their commander appears to know far more about us than any ordinary outsider, and she also has technology that no one else in the outside world has. It appears we will not be as safe as I had thought."  
"She has something that can hurt youkai? I thought only magic could do that."  
"She has technology that emulates magic, it appears."  
"How long until Alex wakes up?"  
"Only a few more hours, likely."  
"And when do you think Rumia will show up?"  
"Don't worry about that, I'll fetch her when the time comes."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Before the Storm

"Alright, guys, nap-time's over. Asses up and to the target, ASAP." Alexis's voice wakes her squad at five-thirty in the morning.  
"Alexis, Ma'am, what about the enemy spy?" Touko says, looking around.  
"Either they're gone, or they'd've seen us anyway." Alexis says. "You know the drill: Hope for the former and expect the latter. Now, move out." she says, tossing a laser rifle to everyone.

* * *

"Miss Yukari, wake up." Ran says. "The outsider force is preparing to attack."  
"Hmm? Already? These outsiders have a strange sense of time." Yukari says with a yawn.  
"I believe they were trying to catch us asleep, Miss Yukari." Ran says.  
"Well, best wake everyone else, then." Yukari says

"You're sure you understand how to use your ability, Alex?" Keine says, after everyone's awake.  
"Yeah, I think so. Well enough to fight, at least. Although, I'm still not sure about how I feel fighting other people." Alex says, twirling the bokkun.  
"Well, think about it this way. It's either we kill them or they kill us." Chen says.  
"Is that so?" Rumia says.  
"Yeah. Life's a lot easier when you think simply." Chen says. "Look at Miss Ran. She's always so worried about percentages and probabilities that I'm surprised she's not a grey fox." This brings a small laugh to the group.  
Ran pats Chen's head and says "Well, one of us has to worry for Miss Yukari, Chen. She spends too much time asleep to do it for herself." Another chuckle is had.

"Perhaps I do. But now, we need to focus on our strategy. The outsider force is used to working in four predetermined groups of three. As such, any three who were on the same team before they grouped up will naturally work better together. I propose we split into four groups as well. I will attack their leader. I do not know what she is capable of, and do not want to risk any of you fighting her. I suggest that the other three teams be Keine and Alex, Ran and Chen, and Rumia and Reimu. Splitting the remaining outsiders into three groups, we come up with two groups of four and one of three. Keine, Alex, you will be fighting the group of three, as, no offence, you are our weakest team. I imagine the outsiders will arrive grouped into their original teams. We need to try to split them up, make them fight alongside strangers, instead of their own teammates. Now, this will not be wholly accomplishable, as if we did it, there would be two outsiders left over. However, try to have no more than two members of any original team fighting beside each other. I do not know if any group other than Reimu's could survive fighting an intact one of their teams. Does everyone understand, and does anyone have any issues with my strategy?" Yukari says.  
"Yeah, we understand." everyone says.

* * *

The UNSRFGOU squad has made its way to the shrine in the middle of the forest. "Alexis, any estimates on how many we're fighting?" Touko says.  
"Definitely at least four. As Battery said yesterday, we couldn't see them, but there were four distinct voices." Alexis says. "Also, since it appears they were attempting to buy time by scaring us off, I'd say, probably at least that number were also preparing some sort of defenses. So, let's put the estimate at eight enemy targets." she says.  
"Hmph. Eight targets versus twelve of the best trained soldiers in the world. I think we'll be done within an hour." Gilgamesh says.  
"Must I remind you that at least one of the targets is able to cause a local temporal distortion so great that it is both day and night at the same time? We need bravery, not overconfidence." Alexis says.

"Since you know so much more than us, o mighty leader, might I ask if there is anything else important that you aren't telling us about the targets?" Mirielle says.  
"Hey! Don't talk about Alexis like that, bitch." Chaz says. "If she thinks we don't need to know something, I trust her judgment."  
"Thank you Chaz, but actually, there was something I forgot to mention. It is likely that at least one of the targets will appear to be a young girl. Do not be fooled, each one of them is likely at least as dangerous as any one of us. Do not let the fact that they appear young keep you from killing them, because God knows that they'll kill you, and have fun doing it." Alexis says, sending a chill down everyone's spine.  
"You sound like you've fought them before." Gilgamesh says.  
"Now's not the time for that. Let's move. They're hopefully either just waking up, or just going to sleep." Alexis says.  
"Nocturnal?" Touko says.  
"Some of them, yes." Alexis says, moving into the shrine.

Moving through the abandoned shrine, the squad comes upon a well maintained door, with a solid lock on it. "Gilgamesh, Mirielle, you and your teams stay here. I imagine they're on the other side of that door, but I want to make sure no surprises follow us in." Alexis says.  
"Understood, Alexis." both captains say.  
Alexis and Touko sweep through the rest of the shrine, verifying its emptiness. They head back to the door. "Safeties off and minds cleared, guys. It's showtime." Alexis says, before kicking the door in.

The squad charges into the room, guns ready, only to find that it's empty. "That's not what I expected." Battery says.  
"You don't get to state the obvious, Battery. You're not a captain yet." Chaz says, bringing a small laugh from the group.  
"Alright guys, stick together and let's search this place. I don't want any of you going more than a few meters from your teammates. We all know we'll fight better with our original teams than if we get all split up." Alexis says. They move from the back of the shrine to the entrance, every room being devoid of life. When they reach the entrance, they find Yukari and the others waiting for them outside. Alexis starts shooting at them immediately, but all the lasers enter a gap that opens in front of her gun. The rest of her squad stands dumbfounded by the group of 'targets'.

"Now, now. Before you start shooting things and we're forced to get violent, can we not at least try the diplomatic approach?" Yukari says. Alexis huffs, but she stops shooting and lowers her gun ever so slightly anyway.  
"Fine. Surrender now, and I'll make your deaths quick and painless." Alexis says, glaring at the inhabitants of Gensokyo.  
"Wait, Alexis," Battery says, pointing at Alex, "Isn't that the kid that was kidnapped? Alexander Johnston, or something?"  
"Johnson," Alexis says, looking at Alex, "But, yeah, it is. Alexander Johnson, do not worry. We are here to save you from these creatures." She turns to look at Yukari, and is about to say something when Alex shakes his head.  
"I don't need to be saved, miss." Alex says.  
"Are you here of your own volition, then?" Alexis asks, staring at him.

Alex says "Not originally, no. But I am now, and I also understand now why Yukari brought me here. You see, what happened was, I was practicing magic, and after seven years of trying, I finally got something to happen. I was going to go to the reporters about it, and prove everyone that I was right and they were wrong. But, if I had done that, I now see that the governments of the world would eventually have looked around for other magic users. After all, why spend years training someone to make a light object float, when you can just find people who can blow up mountains? Eventually, they, as you did, would have found this place, and the relative peace of this land would have forever disappeared. Or worse, they, like you, would be unable to accept people different from them, and-"

"People? That's a good one." Alexis cuts him off. "The whole reason I'm here, is because in my time, 597 billion years in the future, these 'people' killed _everyone_. These monsters destroyed my family, my friends, my _life!_ And they were _laughing the whole time!_" Everyone in the vicinity takes a step backwards, their eyes wide at Alexis's sudden outburst. "_That_ is why I'm here. I'm going to wipe you all off the face of the planet before you can kill anyone I care about. None of these demons deserve to see another day. I'll kill you all myself!" Alexis roars, lunging at Yukari.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The Fury of the Future

_SMASH!_ Alexis's fist collides with Yukari's chest, sending her flying. Rumia cowers in fear, almost saving her from a vicious kick by Alexis. Alexis's foot nicks the top of her head, knocking her down. Alexis proceeds to stomp on her stomach, knocking her out. It is at this point that everyone else starts reacting: The UNSRFGOU soldiers start shooting at the remaining five Gensokyoans; Reimu creates a barrier between the two sides; Ran, Chen, and Keine start shooting Danmaku at Alexis; Alex summons a pistol out of the air and shoots at Alexis. Alexis darts forward, ducking under all this, and shoulder-charges Reimu. However, she passes right through the shrine maiden who has floated away from reality.

Alex brings his bokkun down on the off-balance woman's head, sprawling her on the ground. The pistol in his hand transforms into a knife, which he stabs into Alexis's neck. The time-traveler's steel skin shatters said knife, and she grabs the man. She spins them both around so that he is the one on the ground, and is about to punch him when Keine hits her with a laser, disrupting her enough for Alex to push Alexis off of him with his feet. She jumps back after landing, and, spinning in the air, smashes her heel into the Keine's temple, knocking her far away. Alexis leaps to the side, narrowly avoiding Danmaku crossfire from Ran and Chen.

Alexis pulls out her pistol and shoots at Ran, who barely drops to the ground in time to avoid it. The shot, when it hits a tree far behind Ran, vaporizes several trees and leaves both a crater and mushroom cloud in its wake. The other outsider soldiers, who have busied themselves trying to find a way past Reimu's barrier, stop and stare. "Holy shit… was that a mini-nuke?" Battery says, his eyes wide. Alex, having changed the broken knife into a sniper rifle, shoots the gun out of Alexis's hand.

"I'm not going to be able to keep this up for much longer, guys!" Reimu says, exhausted from using Fantasy Heaven and keeping a barrier in place for so long. Alex shoots at Alexis again, this time aiming for her head. She drops, and then disappears, accompanied by a sonic boom. Chen screams, and then Alexis removes her hand from the shikigami's stomach. Chen falls to the ground, unconscious.  
"NO!" Ran charges at Alexis, and there is a sickening crack as Ran's ribcage is shattered by Alexis's foot. Ran is knocked into Reimu's barrier, and collapses to the ground, bleeding.

"Dammit! Alex, you're going to have to protect me. I can't keep up this barrier and Fantasy Heaven, and I wouldn't be able to beat them all before Fantasy Heaven runs out!" Reimu says, become real again. Alex rushes over to her. Hearing the word protect gives him an idea, and instead of trying to create a real-world weapon, he changes his rifle into an invincible shield from a game he had played. Alexis lunges at Alex, trying to punch through the shield. Two screams resound as Alex's shoulder dislocates and Alexis's arm breaks. The whirring of machinery is heard as Alexis's arm rearranges itself into what can only be described as a chainsaw sword.

"What the hell happened to her arm?" Chaz says, not even bothering to look for a way past the supernatural wall Reimu has placed between the soldiers and their targets anymore.  
"It makes sense. I imagine any soldier from so far in the future would be a cyborg. This likely also explains how she was able to hurt them by herself, despite telling us that we should not engage them in melee combat." Touko says, as Alex deflects a stab from the time-traveler. Touko has been fiddling with her gun ever since the barrier appeared.  
"What exactly are you doing with that, anyway?" Gilgamesh asks her, as Alexis shatters Alex's kneecap, dropping him to the ground.  
"Trying to find a way to increase the power, I imagine. Try to smash through that thing with one blast, no?" Mirielle says. Alex sweeps his shield sideways, knocking Alexis to the ground.  
"Well? Any luck?" Battery says. From the ground, Alexis plants her foot on Alex's shield, and uses her leg to throw him into the air.  
"Got it." Touko says, placing a panel she had earlier removed back on the rifle.

"Stand back, this may be dangerous." Touko says. Alex crashes into the barrier, but pushes off with his good leg and smashes his bokkun into the side of Alexis's head, knocking her back onto the ground. Touko shoots the boosted rifle. A massive laser impacts the barrier, shattering it. The gun, however, overloads, exploding and taking Touko's life with it.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The Truth

Reimu, having been sent flying by the shattering of her barrier, goes through something none of the outsiders had ever seen before, but which causes Alex to sigh with relief. It is a purple portal, full of eyes. At the same time, Rumia, whose inhibitor was knocked off when Alexis kicked her, wakes up. Alex's kneecap repairs itself, as do Ran's ribs and Chen's stomach. Another gap opens, and out of it walk Keine and Yukari. Combat ceases as the formerly crippled Gensokyoans get back up.

"What the hell did you do, demon?" Alexis says viscously.  
"I simply manipulated the boundary between injured and healthy. Quite simple, if you understand it." Yukari says. The area grows dark, and malicious laughing is heard from where the little blond girl last was. "Thank you for removing her inhibitor, by the way. I thought I would have more time once the battle started." Yukari says, joining the laughter herself.  
"You'll pay for killing our leader, monster!" Touko's team yells.  
"Is that so?" _RIP!_  
"GYAAHHH! MY ARM! SHE RIPPED MY FU-"  
_Squelch._ "It's not polite to use words like that, young one." _Thud.  
_A laser rifle is fired. "I'll kill you, yo-"  
_RIP!_ "Say hello to your friends for me, it was fun to play with them." _Thud._

_Whirr._ Alexis's right eye switches to night vision. _Dammit! I thought she looked familiar._ Alexis thinks. Switching her cybernetic eye back to normal vision, she flashes it brightly for a second.  
"My eyes!" As everyone's eyes readjust to the normal lighting, they see a woman with blond hair and a black ballgown, stained with blood, near the corpses of Touko's team. The woman is clutching her eyes, obviously pained by the bright light. One of the corpses is missing its right arm, and has a large hole in its chest. The other is simply headless.

"FIRE!" Gilgamesh yells, and his team all shoot at Rumia. A gap opens in front of her, and the lasers enter it. Another gap opens under Rumia, taking the injured youkai to safety. A horn blares, and Gilgamesh barely dives to the side in time to avoid the train that flattens his unfortunate teammates. Alexis jumps at Yukari, swinging her sword-arm, which Yukari deflects with her parasol. The gap youkai crushes the time-traveler's neck with her fan, however there is a mechanical whirring, and her neck fixes itself.

Mirielle's team fires at Keine, who sidesteps. There is an explosion under one of Mirielle's teammates, sending her pieces into the air. Resisting the urge to vomit, Alex fires the second rocket at Mirielle. She shoots it out of the air near him, causing it to explode and knock him down. Keine fires a burst of bullets, then follows up with a laser aimed at Mirielle's other teammate. The UNSRFGOU soldier dodges the laser, but in the process, jumps into a bullet, which pierces his chest, killing him.

Ran, realizing the other outsiders must not have the same enhancements as Alexis, rushes at Chaz and Gilgamesh, masterfully dodging their shots. Chen fires multiple curving Danmaku bursts around the two soldiers, preventing them from simply running from the fox-woman. Ran rips Gilgamesh's face off with wickedly sharp claws, then turns to face Chaz, before getting shot in the back by Battery. "Thanks for the assist!" Chaz says, shooting Ran in the head. She collapses.  
"Miss Ran!" Chen screams. She unleashes a massive wall of Danmaku that annihilates Chaz, leaving no body, before collapsing from exhaustion.

Alex runs over to Chen, now holding a shield again. With said shield, he blocks most of Battery's lasers, and the others simply miss. Battery, thinking that the once human is still human, charges the man. Battery kicks Alex hard in the gut, fully expecting the scrawny teenager to break in half right there. What happens instead is that Battery breaks his own leg against the now-youkai. "FUCK!" Battery yells, falling to the ground.  
"Look, I really don't want to kill you. I'm a teacher, for fuck's sake. I've already gotten used to the idea of living here, as much as someone can, anyway. Yeah, it sucks I'll never see my parents or my old friends again, but shit happens. So, if you could just surrender, or something, that would be really nice. I know you aren't bad people, and I hope that you can see we're not bad people either. Yukari just took me here because I was going to do something stupid that would cause… well, this. We don't mean any harm to the rest of the world; we just want to live our lives here in peace. Please, sir, just stop fighting so I don't need to hurt anyone anymore." Alex tells the man, crying while holding a knife to his throat. Battery grits his teeth, but sets his gun on the ground and pushes it away. "Thank you so much." Alex says. He gets up and disappears the knife. Alex goes over to help Keine.

Alex tries to sneak up on Mirielle, who is busy dodging lasers and bullets from Keine, to knock her out with his bokkun. Mirielle hears him, turns, and puts a laser through his heart. He collapses, covering the wound with his hand. A furious Keine charges the soldier and smashes her head into the French woman's, knocking Mirielle unconscious. "Alex! Are you okay?" Keine says, flustered.  
"I guess it's because I'm part sword now, but I don't feel like I'm dying, and that's good, right?" Alex says with a weak chuckle.  
"Yeah, youkai are far more resistant to damage, so, this shouldn't kill you." Keine says, despite not looking too sure of this herself. Alex loses consciousness.

* * *

"I wonder," Yukari says, deflecting Alexis's attack with her parasol, "Have you ever stopped to consider _why_ we might have attacked the outside world in your time?"  
"Because you're monsters that delight in killing people." Alexis says, smacking away the parasol that was about to stab her in the eye.  
"I see. I must ask you, if that is the case, then why did I not attack the instant I knew you were coming for us? Or a broader question; why does human civilization still exist now?" Yukari says, deflecting the chainsword again.  
"To the first; because you needed time to prepare. To the second; because there aren't enough of you to kill everyone yet." Alexis says, slipping between a wall of kunai.  
"Prepare what? Do you see any fortifications? And to the second; without your weapons and abilities, this squad would have been dead seconds after it fired at us. This is the best your military has to offer at this point, no? If they couldn't hurt us, what makes you think more people with worse equipment could?" Yukari says, sidestepping a laser that came from Alexis's mechanical eye.  
Ignoring the first questions, and swatting aside a fan headed for her kidney, Alexis says "The soldiers might not have been able to hurt you, but the nukes would."  
"Exactly." Yukari says, stepping back to avoid an uppercut.  
This causes Alexis to pause, and to get hit in the face by a parasol. "Bitch. What do you mean, 'exactly'?" she says, deflecting the parasol that was about to strike her a second time.  
"The nukes. They would devastate us. But not everyone would die, and what do you think the survivors would feel? I know you know the answer to this." Yukari says, smiling as Alexis's chainsword stops inches from her throat.

Alexis steps back, her arm dropping to her side. Her arm reverts back to normal, and she drops to the ground. She stares at the ground for a while, as if looking for any other answer to Yukari's easy question. A few minutes after the battle between the UN soldiers and the inhabitants of Gensokyo wraps up behind her, Alexis quietly says "They'd want revenge." She stares blankly for some time before asking "We did this to ourselves?"

Yukari sits beside the time-traveler, saying "No. _You_ did nothing. The disgusting humans in this time are the ones who launch the missiles. I *ahem* _overheard_ them speaking about the matter. The leaders of this 'UN' you have joined decided that if we couldn't be convinced to help them control the people on the outside, they would have to 'deal' with us. If you truly want to prevent a massacre in your time, you are targeting the wrong people. What you need to do is convince these leaders that they gain nothing by bombing us. You must convince them either that we are no threat, or that we are a sleeping dragon that, if woken, will tear through their lands like a heated sword through an ice fairy. I do not care which of these paths you choose, but they are the only ways to prevent the near extinction of your race. I would do it myself, but I fear that they would not listen to me."

"I…"Alexis starts, before sighing deeply, "I understand. I apologize for how I treated you. Is… Is anyone still alive?" She expects the answer to be no.  
"It appears that the large man from your team has surrendered, and the French woman is simply unconscious. Everyone else from your squad is dead. Chen looks unconscious, likely from exhaustion, and Alex and Ran both have painful, but not fatal, wounds. Keine appears unharmed." Yukari says, looking over the battlefield.  
"A complete loss for us, huh? At least it makes my new job easier." Alexis says with a grim laugh. Yukari tilts her head quizzically.

Alexis gets up and heads over to Battery. "Soldier, I must ask you a very important question. If given contradictory orders, whose will you follow? Mine, or the Big-un's?" she says, her face blank.  
"Apologies ma'am, but the Big-un is higher in the chain of command than you. You know I need to do what they say." Battery says through gritted teeth, still in pain from his leg shattering.  
"Even if the orders they give you are directly opposed to our continued survival as a species?" Alexis says.  
"Even then, ma'am." Battery says.  
"You're a good soldier, Anders. I'm honored to have had you serving under me." Alexis says, before stabbing her arm through Battery's neck, killing him. A few hours later, when Mirielle wakes up, Alexis repeats the questions she asked Battery, and Mirielle repeats the answers. She, too, is swiftly killed.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Final

Aftermath

Alex is sitting in a corner, still devastated by the fact that he blew up a human being. Keine is trying to comfort him, but as a protector of humans, she isn't taking her kill very well either. Rumia's inhibitor has been placed back on her head, and she is pouting because 'flashy lady took away my fun'. Chen is sitting at a kotatsu, eating a fish, and Ran is still recovering on a nearby futon. Yukari and Alexis are discussing something in the corner opposite Alex and Keine. Reimu enters the room, carrying a platter with eight cups of tea on it.

She sets it on the kotatsu, then plops on the floor and says "Well, that sucked."  
"Don't all incidents suck, Reimu?" Yukari says as she and Alexis sit at the kotatsu.  
"Yeah, but this one particularly sucked. I know _you_ don't care one way or the other, but I don't like killing people. I also don't really like cleaning up after kids who lost their lunch because they killed somebody." Reimu says.  
"Well, excuse me for having a natural reaction to seeing seven dead bodies, and knowing that the only reason it wasn't eight is because I blew one of them to smithereens." Alex says, plopping himself down at the kotatsu. Keine sits beside him.

"You seem to have gotten over it rather quickly, though." Yukari says.  
"That's the worst thing though, isn't it. Because one of the things I felt when that woman's gun blew up, among 'Oh god she's dead!' and 'Oh god half her face is gone that's disgusting!' was 'I'm hungry.' I know that youkai eat people, but I didn't realize that would extend to me!" Alex says.(1)  
"If I had known you were hungry, I would have shared some with you." Rumia says.  
"No thanks! Yukari, is eating people something I'm going to have to just deal with now, or can I still eat other things?" Alex says.  
"Most youkai can eat other things. I know of a few that can't but they're rare, and since you were human to begin with, I doubt you're one of them." Yukari says.  
"Well, that's good at least. Now I just need to deal with the whole 'I'm going to live until something kills me' bit." Alex says.

* * *

"Alexis out. Goodbye, base." Alexis says, turning off the earpiece before fading out of existence. _I guess this means it worked, then._

* * *

Epilogue

597 Billion A.D.

Three people, one man and two women, are sitting at a bar. The man has a purple trilby and brown hair. The first woman has silver hair and a hat that still has yet to be named. The second woman has a cybernetic eye and blond hair. "Hey, Alexis, something I've been meaning to ask for a while now; can cyborgs actually get drunk?" the man says.  
"Yeah, a little. It takes a lot more alcohol to do it, though. My turn: Why did you guys decide to pop back into the world now?" Alexis says.  
Alex and Keine look at each other, smiling. Keine says "Just repaying an old favor."  
"A favor? To who?" Alexis says.  
"You wouldn't believe us if we told you, I don't think." Alex says.  
"Eh, whatever. Not really any business of mine anyways." Alexis says, causing the two Gensokyoans to laugh. "What?" Alexis says indignantly.  
"Oh, nothing. We'll tell you later." Keine says, still smiling.

* * *

(1) I couldn't actually find any information on whether tsukumogami eat people or not, so I'm assuming that, since they are youkai, they can.


End file.
